The Unseen Realm

Hmmm…I thought I’ve always pour out my heart content in blog but that’s not really true. There are so many things…so many things I cannot say because I fear it will offend certain people, touch some sensitive issue or make people hate me more than I already am. Lol…but since it’s the last entry….why not?

Let’s see…Venus is a tall thin gurl with ‘interesting’ temper. People like Yu Li and Vivien Than Suu Leng have the privilege to watch her grow from a monstrous Cina-speaking-11 yr old-rascal to a stern-no-life-prefect to completely-broken-form 6 gal till now…a curly-hair-uncontented-university student. This doesn’t make sense. One shouldn’t evolve as below:

                Monstrous rascal –> Devil-Prefect Tyrant –> Nurse 

I’ve been through a lot. Seriously. Most of them are not very happy story. I grew up wishing that there’s fairy tale which of course, turn out to be disaster for me. Life’s hard, I was a naughty kid, getting crap in studies. I hate my primary school life. I only have three friends…I dunno if they are friends because they taught me how to steal. I was in a smart class where everyone boycott not to speak to me - dun befriend the stupid girl who can’t speak english. I’m only known for my speed in sports (thanks to all the kerja-kerja session during lunch break). I used to look up to Choo Ching Yee, Renuga and Tan Xian Shi a lot. I wished I could speak English like them and flock around in the genius little group. How I hated myself in dirty uniform playing hide and seek while they laughed at my stupidity. Luckily I’ve transferred from Kajang to BTHO in std 4 where I meet kind and healthier people, people who influence me positively like Pei Wen, Yu Li and Vivien Than Suu Leng. I was given a second chance here and leave my past behind those laughing faces.

I scrapped through UPSR with fascinating results. That was when I taste the first victory (come on…kids have different definition of victory, okay). I went through primary and lower secondary school having a crush on my classmate who happened to be my son now. Starting from form 2..I dunno what got into me that I’ve turned into robot. I study, study and study. Speak only English and forgotten my mother tongue. I began to flock in a group of most intelligent girls in my school. See? History repeats itself. I resent those who looked down on me and now…having the power…muahahahahahha! I’ve made some friends (although the sincere friendships are actually some of my teachers) but I’ve made three scrolls of enemies. Anyway…still, being the best in school means nothing when I’m just a chinese gurl and my mom’s never in PIBG. Scoring max for PMR and SPM but what? No scholarship, no nothing. Have to scrap through STPM.

Form six was a total depressing event in my life. From prefect-president-secretary-treasurer and all those high posts I’ve held in school, I’ve fallen to nothing. Absolutely nobody. People in Yu Hua especially those Cina teacher hates Chinese who can’t speak Chinese, read Chinese and write chinese. Apparently, I’m that person. I tried becoming a senior prefect (name je gempak) but can’t make it because I was too ambitious. If I can’t make it to the top because I’m not an XY so forget it. I dun want to be under the leader I hate so much. Those who went form 6 with me saw how I struggled to be acknowledged. Life was difficult. Have a few crushes here and there but what the heck…I was in such a mess that I can’t do anything about it.

Anyway…scrapped through STPM with a miserable 3.75. Kay…I know some of my classmate will stranggle me for saying this but seriously…knowing my luck and my face, I can’t do anything without a 4.00. Without a 4.00 that STPM cert is practically void. See what I get? Perikanan! Can you believe it!? Perikanan! When I ‘rayu’ and they tell me dengan dukacitanya. When I show up at universities…you have no idea what those local U people tell me. ‘Takyah rayu, buang masa. Takkan dapat nye..’ Min Siang and Wei Aun were there to hold my fists. Seriously. I was so distress I could do some real damage. I gave up M’sia education system. I gave up Malaysia. My mission in life ever since was to get the hell out from this cow dung country and never look back.

So…I’m known as the girl who never made it. The girl who fought for everything but never get anything she wants. As a conclusion, I’ve been there, done that and all. The all-rounder who is not completely round. I am never the lucky one. I can work double the effort yet somebody else will be chosen. Did I say I wanted to be a model? Yeah, I’m tall but what does that make me? I’ve got people who took my pictures but never give back so I can never be a freelancer. I want to be a model, not a GRO thank you. These people kills modelling as a profession! I keep meeting jerks who pretended to be some big shots. Cey…do I look like an idiot with loe EQ. I’m not at all desperate, you know?  When I found her, I though things will change but no, she’s a jerk herself. So, medelling…out.

Next come my University life. I was given another chance to live…lol. I promised myself I have to change. I did…although nobody appreciates it but as long as I know I’m trying my level best. Working with new people and forgetting those disappointing thing left behind. Nursing is never what I want but as I’m known…the girl who never gets to do what she likes, I’ll scrap through yet again. I want to be a surgeon too. I can’t cause I’m not rich. I dun hav a dad with million dollars in the back. Nobody thinks I deserve a scholarship, no…not even an interview. ‘We just don’t want to know her’.All these tough news I’ve handled made a hard-to-know person. I’m all closed up because I don’t want to get hurt again. I can be happy at times…but not truly jovial. I’ve even got myself an abusive boyfriend who tried to mould me into his psyco fantasy superwoman. He’s as abusive as ever even after breaking up, saying all those crap in internet as though he’s the innocent angel who was cheated by an ungrateful she-demon. Whatever la, breaking up was the closest to perfect decision I’ve ever made in 2008. It was a mistake but a mistake I can learn something from - trough him, I know what I don’t want in a guy. I’m still angry by the way he treated me but most of all, I’m angry at myself who allowed myself to be treated that way. Then I though I’ve had a group of my own, a group of dancer but no, I’was never part of the team. If I was, they would have involve me in their discussion instead of letting me be the last to know. Disappointed and heart broken but nvm, I should have known better - I am no dancer. Why do I have a feeling I was the reason the lost the talent part…? Sheesh….solemn thoughts.

All these whiles, I’ve been mirroring everything I resent. I hated my primary school mates and I’ve studied my head off being the best student and a prefect. I hated those who talked bad about me, in front of me using english because I obviously so stupid I don’t undersand English that I strived so hard to speak only perfect english. I’ve joined parliamentary debate and all the competitions in the world to let those silver-spoon people know that I’m not a loser and that I can do it too. Lol…I’m doubtful about the perfect part but it’s alright so far. I hate those who showed off they can sing and dance so I strived to sing and dance too. I tried piano, violin and ballet. I picked up guitar hoping to serve as a musician but no…I’m not good enough. No matter what I do, I’m just not good wnough. all these rejections made me feel so ugly. I’ve become so defensive and sensitive. I’m not the popular one, not the pretty one, not the angelic nor the kind one. I’m just so not the ‘one’ with a positive word in front. Forever known as the bossy one, snobbish one, angry one, grumpy one. Perfectionist. Sigh…whatever la. At least I have an identity?

So…2009 is here. What’s in store for me? There’s ups and downs in life and can only hope for the best. One thing is, nobody can please everyone. For those who is popular, loved my many and receives praise everyday…it’s a gift, a privilege I’ll never have but yeah, everyone comes in unique package. Let’s just say I’m still finding myself. The only thing holding me together, caging the beast within is God. I don’t claim He’s all I need or something like that but yeah, in my personal walk, He’s there. He’s there when nobody else does. I still complain but yeah, I want to believe that there’s a reason for everything to happen. So…let’s count the blessing:

1. I got my family with me who are healthy except the fact that I’m paranoid about their health. I know they love me very much although I know they fear my temper too…

2. I have four healthy furballs mewing away at home.

3. I have a car where I can drive around whenever I like although not wherever I like.

4. I have a house with roof to lie my depressed head at night. A fridge stuffed with chocolates.

5. A coming-soon degree as a passport to leave this cow dung country.

6. A handful of sweet friends who know I’m not a bad person.

7. A boyfriend who gives me space to grow. Giving each other space to grow at their own timing and allowing space for each other to be oneself…tha’s love.

8. I have Yu Li, Vivien Tan Siew Ling and Vivian Loh with enlarged ventricle system a.k.a water in head. Lol…

There…bye bye friendster!

Hmmm…since it’s only a few days before 2008 is over, I’ll just summarise everything in this post bah. Let’s see…

2008 began badly for me. I hated semester II. Everything is wrong in Sem II. All the lecturers can say about me is, ‘that rebellious rude girl’. People, there’s a fine line between being rude and outspoken. My academic went downhill, almost failed my practical. Well, I have nobody to blame for that since I didn’t even have the intention to continue Sem III. I was ever ready to bye-bye IMU. Lol…who knows…I ended up completing another Sem.
Other than that, I’ve joined IMU Ball for the very first time. I’ve spent RM500 on myself for dunno what. Lol…I guess they are right when they say girls buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like. It was lame…to go next year also must consider seriously. EmCEe was … and the arrangement of agenda was … and … . Only Sas, Xin Ying and I knew about that la, huh. Other than we few kuchi fella from nursing and pharm, 92.37% are medical students. Sigh…I don’t even get the flower band I wanted so much. Now, look back at it…all effort was worthless. Seriously. I hoped I had fun. Really, can’t remember. So sleepy at the end of the night.
Also, Xin Ying and I ran for SRC. As usual, no matter what I compete alone sure lose de. Face problem. I’ve worked really hard for it cuz I really like the post in culture and religion. Okay, not so much of religion but very very much for culture. Xin Ying and Harnesh helped out a lot. Even Xin Ying’s mother helped out a lot. My batchmates went all out for me to distribute the bookmarks. Medicine students were more open to newbies but pharmacist…tsk…tsk…not a single breathing beast can penentrate their loyalty which was of course, kind of unfair. It was a painful loss and I vowed never to run for it ever again. Whatever I would like to do I can always channel it via another method.
Second Sem posting was uttermost nonsense. I black list Tung Shin. Not a place where poeple can grow. Uugh…made me so mad just to think of Sister Lai and Sister Kam. Soo…LC. Uugh…NC. Sg.Buloh was worse. I don’t even know what I was doing there. Sit on nursing counter all day. I feel so crap there. So very crap. Port Dickson was okay. I felt more useful there. But really, 5 feverish pts with 8 student nurses? Anything la. When Alice Leong decided to leave, my heart was sawyed terribly. I wanted to run with her too. I hate the way I was treated and things people said about me. Sigh…it’s over now. I hope.
Then come holiday, trip to REdang was a disaster. Then again, everything happened for a reason. It was not a happy trip, nothing compared to the trip I went in 2007 with my classmates. Well…the companions of a trip is crucial to determine the outcome of a grup trip I suppose. I don’t think I’ll plan anymore trips in future.

That’s 50% of 2008. The next 48% was better. I wasn’t keen to join Sem III, in fact, I was planning to do other stuff. I was keen about the orientation though. Funny…I don’t mind planning it, knowing that I might leave anyway. Well…the rest is history. Sem III started off well and ended with quite good a posting. I’ve got to share room with Bee Ann again although because of the room issue, somebody is not talking to me anymore. IMU cup was unique this year, I’ve joined stuff I’ve never did before and give up one of the event I like the most.
Also, IMU Japanese Club is established. I love the committee a lot although I always marah-marah. Lol…maklumlah. EOS and assignment also okay le. Lol…there’s a lot I wish to write here but can’t really do so. There are things that words cannot express. Might try drawing it the next time. Sheesh…I gues many are leaving friendster already. Think I’ll pass soon as well.

Everyone, have a great new year ahead alright! Thanks you guys who stick with me throughout bad times as well as the good ones. Take care ya! Hugs!

Well…I know this is way outdated already but I’d promised myself I will write this, so…here goes.

Night shift…it was my first and last…for this semester. I woke up on Thursday morning feeling perplexed by what was about to take place that night. AFter lunch at 2pm, I’ve decided to sleep till 7pm but guess what? I woke up at 4:30pm and that was it, I couldn’t sleep any more. So there I was, wriggling under my blanket till 6:30pm - more tired than before. By 7:30pm, it rained. So very encouraging. It wad still drizzling when Bee Ann, Marshal and I walked to the hospital. When I think of the ten hours ahead of me, I had vertigo. When I knew the staff I was working with that night, I had hypotension - one is a newly graduate, another notorious for being lazy and another pregnant lady due in what? Two weeks time? Worst of all…there was this Dr. Tan Boon Yeow who only know how to kutuk, complaint, self praise and directing people to do work. Why can’t I get Dr. Tan-Clean-Own-Trolley of Dr. Lai-So-Shy!!?? Of all poeple, Tan Boon Yeow…Dr.Lee-Never-Smile also better. Anyway, I was quite free at time until 10:30pm where chaos began…

11am - Hourly v/sign for 4 pts + hourly PU output + feeding + dressing (why the heck this hour still got dressing!?!?!?) + colostomy care.

12am - Hourly v/s for 4 pts + v/sign for the whole ward + PU charting + up IV and restart regime.

1am - Hourly v/s for 4 pts + suction + PU charting + pt complaint of pain + patient want to go toilet + flush almost every IV line.

2am - (dead hungry) Hourly v/s for 4 pts + up IV drips + admission + suction + feeding + tepid sponging

3am - (hypoglycaemic) Hourly v/s for 4 pts + up IV drips + soiled linen + PU charting

By 4am, I was done with v/s signs including temperature for the acute cubicles. My stomach performed orchestra for an hour already. I turned to the SN, wanted to ask for a break. Instead of a, ‘thank you, you may go’, I get a ’sekarang boleh start 4am observation’. I was flushed red. I entered the treatment room and asked myself why was I running the whole ward alone? Why am I the only one doing everything except the paper work? 38 patients…one pathetic student nurse. Even Dr. Tan Boon Yeow sensed a tornado coming. I walk up to one SN and told her I’m going to eat. I ate in 15mins but I refused to go out from the pantry. I was so angry I dunno what to do except sitting there and clutching my water bottle. By 5am, I continue the whole routine all over again. By 6am, some patients woke up and yala yala yala, double the request, double the work.

5am - hourly v/s + suction + tepid sponging + flushing + PU charting

6am - hourly v’s + tepid sponging + Dr Tan kutuk-kutuk me + I kutuk-kutuk balik him and now we benci each other teruk-teruk +up IV drip

653am - received a message, ‘hurrah…shift’s over’. Over my head, Dr Tan asked me to do suction. I want to run him over with a truck.

705am - practically R.U.N out from the ward to get my iced mocha.

I was dead tired at the end of the day…ermm…I mean early in the day. Bee Ann and Marshal shared with me their experience. The SNs actually ask them to rest. Be Ann even got a Dr who said ‘TQ’. Confirmed face problem. I want to burn 8B nursing counter. Woo…so…unfair. Anyway, just as every sane poeple think we would go home and rest, we went down to Jusco after an hour nap to Karaoke. Our internal organs were all damaged after that night. Unable to recover, we went for eating spree the following day. Uugh…I felt so depressed after that shift. So very depressed.

Oh well…that’s what I’ve copied out from my journal. Now that it’s over…hmm…I still don’t like it but nvm la. At least it’s over xp.

Well, I’m home. Back from 2 months of Seremban posting. As usual, I had complaint and complaint about my postings, dying to get home and never to return to hospital but when it’s all over, I’m missing it all. I woke up on Saturday morning in my room feling a bit empty. I miss waking up 530am, put on my uniform and pin up my hair. I would walk to the hospital with my earphones on - tuning to my favourite songs just to brighten up the day a bit. Next, I would walk into my wards - 3A, 6B and 8B to begin my duty. For morning shift, it would be bed bath, feeding and dressings all the way through. For afternoon shift will be IV and feeding other than suctionings. I miss having lunch at IMU cafeteria and dinner at the hospital canteen. Sigh…I miss walking around the hospital - scope room, X-ray room, specialist departments watching OGDS, ERCP and colonoscopy. Haha…I miss the things I’ve done for my patients. These made me feel useful…seriously. I can’t believe I miss SOME of my patients. 

I miss kutuking the SNs and Drs with my batchmates, cooking in the crowded kitchen, washing clothes in the bathroom and kena scolding like nobody’s business. I miss chit chatting with Bee Ann at night, my roommie. I miss hanging out with them at Jusco and going kacau-ing my senior. Lol…the posting this round is more meaningful to me although my answers to my preceptors never change from day 1 of my sem 1 postings. Lol. I think it’s because we are more senior now and there are many things we can do now. There is a greater purpose for us to be in hospital and ofcourse, being acknowledge by our patients and some SNs as competent felt fulfiling. Nevertheless, I have neautiful people with me in Seremban which made this journey more meaningful and more bearable. I love you guys, thanks for everything! Will attach photos of my Seremban life soon. Do check it out!

That is what I think of Ward 8B. Not only we have excessive women patients, we have excessive female doctors, nurses and students, maids, jaga and cleaners. Excessive of everything except things which I need to do procedures. Everything is kept in store dunno for what? What is the meaning of stor? It’s where you kept excess stuff where you run to when those at the treatment rooms are used up. One day dunno how many times I have to enter the store room to take things. Mind you, the room is like a war zone itself.

I thought I resent Ward 6B. After two days (that’s all it takes), I think I’m in love with ward 6B. In this ward, I don’t even have time to drink water nor pee. How can I don’t ended up being dehydrated with renal calculi? Uugh…this morning took it’s tow. I HATE the SNs there. Every time they catch me they will ask why I don’t do this and why I don’t do that. “Hello!? I only have two hands, two feet and sorry I can’t spilt into two via binary fission to run all your chores!” Gosh…they just lodge themselves at one corner ‘writing reports’ and point the students to do EVERYTHING. Shit you, what kind of report can you write when you didn’t do anything. Uugh…I’m so pissed.

Today is morning shift, I felt so unsatissfied with myself! I rather do work alone if it means getting more done faster!? I can’t believe I’ve spent the whole 7 hours on one patient who is not even my patient. I’ve neglected my own patient, I felt so bad. So bad that I’ll stick to my own cubicle tomorrow. Also, I will never breech the ‘professionla relationship’ with patient or their family members again. It’s so not professional to chit chat while doing procedures and as they think we’re so ‘friendly’ they expect us to be there 24-7 attending them and only them. So, no thank you. Give me some space.

Sheesh…everything is everywhere - it’s a surgical ward but no dressing set. Don’t even have sterile scissors! I could have run back to ward 3A for one! I was so tempted. Uugh…wait. Wait. Gimme a week. Maybe I’ll fall in love with this Ward as well. Just…sigh…I love 8B, I love 8B, I looooooooovvvee 8B. I love SN, I love SN, I love SN. I love treasure hunting during emergency. I love spending hours looking for a micropore. I love hunting for normal Saline when I want to do suction and there’s not even a receiver. Gosh…help me to love this place….

Wohoo!

IMU team entered the final! Hehe…such a remarkable journey but I have a feeling this is just the beginning. About a month ago, I’ve received an email forwarded to me by SRC to recruit a team for this intercollege competition. I started off by approaching a big group, sending emails, getting in touch with SRC and SAD, hoping for their help but…you guessed it. Majority of IMU people is just not interested with non-academic stuff.

Take my lecturers for example. They almost stopped me from going this competition by telling me that my clinical postings are more important and that I should put clinical postings first. As if I’ve not dislike the department enough, they want to make me hate it. A bunch of dunggu fellas who expect every students to be equally passionate about nursing. What is a good student for them you ask? Those that sit either at home or library to study 24-7 of course. Those that write poems about nursings, sing out their love for patients and ward and score 4.0 in every exam. Cow dung betul la. That’s not the life for me. I want a balance between art and science.

Anyway, in one months time we come up with a team of six people. After less than four complete practices, Janning, Stacie, Jason, Beh Eng Hui, CY and I joined the competition, passed the audition and going to final this friday! The dance portion should be okay. Catwalk I can’t change m uch but I’ve gotta cracked my head for the outbreak. It’s gotta be a blast and I’ve gotta dig out every single crazy ideas I’ve buried in my neurons all along.

So people, do come and watch us ya during the glow light party in KBU. Check out our effort as a team and heck, IMU are not just nerds. Check out www.payneforum.biz for our audition clips yah! Do vote for us online too~

Finally my service in Ward 3A ended last Friday. This week I started off in Ward 6B - female medical ward. I…have strong sense of dislike in this ward. First of all, everything is so neat until I cannot find anything. Everything is being kept as though everyone is going to steal everything. Sheesh…I feel more at home in 3A where I alone knew where everything is being kept…bwahahahaha.  Anyway…medical ward has nothing to do other than nasogastric tube feeding. Students more than patients - I don’t have to do vital signs at all. Furthermore, I started off in evening shift where everyhing is soooooooooo slow especially the time. I could just stand next to my patient and watch the saline drips drop by drop. No joke. Secondly, it’s so difficult to care for female clients than male clients. Below are the reasons:

1. Women tend to talk more. They get lonely easier and want to talk to someone. The staff nurse absolutely don’t care so most of them goggled at us, students. I don’t like talking. I don’t know how to react when they told me about their neighbours. I don’t know what to say when they complaint about the food and fan in the ward. I’ve been VERY nice by just smilling and walk away. If a male patient do that, I would have stranggled him.

2. Majority female patients are more ‘manja’. Every single thing they whine - doing all sort of things to get your attention. Nothing to say when MO and Ho are around but the moment they walked off…muyla la tu. ‘Nurse, sakit la.’ ‘Nurse saya mahu ini, mahu itu.’ Bla bla bla…every single thing. Okay, I’m not that heartless but seriously…you can count on me about your health care but women, I’m no psycologist nor counsellor. I can be there to hold you for a while but don’t expect me to hold you all day la…I’ve got other feedings to do le.

I guess that’s why all my patients are those chronic ones. I preferred to be in acute cubicle not because I’m over-confident whatsoever but because I’m not as friendly as the others and I really can’t establish that kind of friendship with my patients. Maybe yes in a long run but for the time being, I preferred to maintain a professional relationship. I can deliver necessary care, no problem but don’t count on me when it comes to therapeutic communication k? I can only do that once in a blue moon with pink polkadots. That’s also to close friends only. Sorry, aunties…

Sigh…I missed my old ward a lot. I m iss they dressing trolley that I’ve cleaned up. I missed the messy cupboard which nobody can find things they want. I miss seeing some broke back mountain scenes most of all XD. Okay, lemme try this…I like 6B. I like 6B. I like 6B…I like 6B…

Well…I memeng biasa kutuk-mengutuk doctors and staff nurses my ward but it is during the last few days like this where I unleashed my mischievious to the maximum!

In my ward are two permanent houseman - Dr.Lai and Dr.Tan. Both are male but both made the perfect couple of the century. Dr Lai is a short blur blur doctor but very passionate about his prefession. He had the typical nerd look in glasses and dirty white coat. Dr Tan on the other hand is the soft type with longer hair which he often played with, also in glasses but taller and even blurer. I was stucked to them in the acute cubicle.

Dr Tan always ask me to do something but the moment I turn around he would do it himself. Dr Lai on the other hand always ask me to get something but the moment I go for it he said, “Ah, never mind”. So his nick name is the Ah-Never-Mind doctor. Whenever Dr.Tan sits at the nursing counter, he would cross his legs and sat up straight - that kind of gait only the most feminine women can do. He would write a bit then look up to think in the most dreamy way. Then, Dr Lai would come and ask what’s disturbing him. 

“Wo hen duo dong xi zhuo,” said Dr. Tan (I have lots to do).

“Ni yao wo zhen yang bang nie?” Dr. Lai leaned forward to his ‘friend’ (How you want me to help you?). 

“Zhe gie ni yao zhuo discharge,” Dr. Tan sighed softly and passed a file to Dr. Lai. (This one has to do discharge). “Oh,” Dr. Lai took the file and they smiled to each others.

Okay…I made up the smilling part but sheesh…isn’t that the sweetest thing ever? I’m so jealous! Lol…ask Ying Huey. After working with them for the past few days, not even a ‘hi’ or smile. Still the same ah-never-mind attitude. Dr. Tan smiled at Kim Fuu though…gulp. Today we witness Dr. Lai tripped on himself and almost toppled over. Ying Huey managed to pull through but I almost died laughing. We caught  Dr.Tan played with his apron too when he thought nobody was looking (as though playing with his fringe is not funny enough). I burst out laughing, he turned tomato but tried to act cool. It happened at 1:40pm and I laughed till 2:05pm when I leave the ward.

Lol…I think both of them are going to stay in the doctor on call room later tonight and curse somebody. Haha…oh ya, one more thing. I’ve witness Dr.Tan and another lady to chest compression during a resusitation case. Erm…I must say, standing next to a lady, Dr. Tan still looked sexier when he got up onto the patient and…once again, played with his fringe. He do bagging till tired but dare not ask for help. Lol…one will look distress when the other is not around. Ahh…so sweet.

Just the other day, Bee Ann and I competed to see who is lazier. Both of us were taking a nap in our room. My phone rang across the room. I rolled down the bed, crawled across and silenced it before I roll back and resume my nap. Bee Ann beat me flat by using one arm to reach for her bottle, uncap it and drink without moving a cervical muscle. I have no choise but to surrender the throne of laziness to her nighness XD.

Two weeks passed, lots had happened. I’m just so glad that Bee Ann is my roommate. She can be real scary if deprieved from ample sleep. We both learnt how to detect each other’s threshold and avoid disasters. Sometimes we can stayed up late to talk and talk and talk about absolutely low IQ and EQ stuff. Lol…I love her as my roommate!

Anyway, today is the first day I’ve felt the joy of being a ‘nurse’. I’ve been taking care of a semi conscious patient from the first day I arrived in the ward. Because of his health and conditions, I practically do everything for him range from feeding to suctioning to bed bathing and oral care, not to mention medication, dressing and flushing. I’ve seen how he became stronger and also how he became so ill so sudden. I rarely speak to his family but they know I am his ‘nurse’.  Since last week, they approached no others but me for almost everything although clearly, I don’t have the answer and solution to anything. Today is my last day in that ward, I let them know and they thanked me with tears in their eyes. It was…the most sincere thing I’ve ever witnessed so far. It felt…so satisfying.

This week, I’ve also spoken to some doctors. Asking them questions about my case study and made them wondered what IMU nursing students are made of. I’ve assisted doctors who did not want my assistant initially till they realise they dunno where everything is kept. Bwahahaha…I’ve witnessed protoscopy and how three doctors tried to change diaper. It felt awesome to be acknowledge as different. It’s also pressuring at the same time that we have to maintain better professionalism. Oh well…along with authority comes  responsibilities, eh? Nevertheless, I get accustomed to my ward already and I’m glad I’ve enjoyed this posting. Hopefully things will continue to turn out fine XD.

One week of Raya break and I’m back in Kay Elle. Home sweet home, Kay Elle~

It has been three days in a row working non stop for seven hours. Not even a break to loo. Vital signs hourly and two hourly in my cubicle, hourly reflo and TDS reflo. Changing IV pints, flushing lines, nebuliser, suction, injections, dressings…I am over worked. Look, I don’t mind working over time for 1 hour or so but never, I mean NEVER take up my pathetic 30 minute lunch time. You never, I repeart, NEVER mess up with me when you starve me. Don’t ever, I repeat, don’t EVER try to get me to do anything when I’m hypoglycemic. Ask Ying Hui, she suffered my wrath today. Trust me, I don’t even remember my surname when my blood sugar level hits 3.0 mmol so KEEP OUT. Best bring a bar of chocolate with you when you really have no choice but to encounter me XD.

Okay, as usual my first paragraph tidak sebegitu berkaitan with my next paragraph. What I want to say here? Although I’m tired but I’m glad I’m busy all day. It kind of take things off my mind for the day. Also, I think I’ve began to take fancy in what I’m doing for real this time. Eh…I felt like this before, let’s hope this time will last. Lol…in semester one, I just hang around the ward and disturbing my seniors. In semester two I practically do nothing in the ward because I’ve had my mind set to leave IMU at that time. This semester? Well…I didn’t do that great for my papers but strangely, I’ve have this strange determination to be a better ‘nurse’. Guess what? The mind is really powerful.

I won’t say I’ve become a good ‘nurse’ now but at least I can see myself improve. I am able to function independantly (except when it comes to lifting people triple my size) and having the confident to do what I’m supposed to do. I still complain but nothing like semester two believe me. In semester two…fuh, my complaint beats the list for organ transplant applicants. I could grmble grumble and grumble the whole day until my mother also beh tahan. Haha…like I’ve said,  everything has its timing. God makes everything beautiful in His time.

Okay, let’s just say life is like a wheel and I’m at the top now. I know it’ll somehow get to the bottom again at one point. Lol…but what to do? That’s life, eh? All about endurance and learning from experience and mistakes that we’ve made. Who knows…maybe the next blog I’ll start jinxing everything all over again! For the time being, yeah, I’m happy. Next week holiday! Can’t wait to go back and catch up with ‘long’ lost friends. Okay…I gotta go ‘buka puasa’ too.

p/s: I’ve finally found my case study! Lol…yesterday night only I berbargain-bargain with God and asked for a case. Thank You!